Social media, celebrity and doing the right thing

Back in the day, when I was a young pup sitting in the Osmaston Stand at Derby County's Baseball Ground, or on the boundary at Derby, Chesterfield, Ilkeston, Buxton, Heanor or wherever, you would hear plenty of comments.

I would now be typing this on a sun-kissed beach, had I been given a fiver for every expletive overheard, or every denigration of a player. You pays your money, you have a right to express your feelings, to some extent.

It has always been so, right back to when Bill Bestwick, dropped by Derbyshire for an indiscretion, could be heard loudly castigating his team mates from the boundary edge at Worcester, fuelled by anger, frustration and a few too many beers.

Of course it is tough when someone in your team 'messes up'. Whether it is Richard Keogh stabbing the ball, at full stretch, to an opposition striker in a Wembley play-off, or a Derbyshire player dropping a catch that goes on to lose us the match, it hurts. Yet it is so important to remember two things. They didn't do it on purpose and they are only human.

Because we all make mistakes, in work and in life. He (or she) who maintains otherwise is a liar. I know I have, but mine have only resulted in late changes to plans at work, perhaps the shake of a head from a senior colleague, a quiet word from my manager. Not my public vilification by people who really should know better, or are of little consequence.

For sports and media stars, personalities and those in the public eye, everyone now regards them as fair game. In the skewed eyes of those who are not, they need to be whiter than white, flawless, impeccable in all that they say and do. And of course, devoid of all error.

It is nonsense. Because even if they are paragons of virtue, the ne'er do wells will tell you they are hiding something, as no one is that wholesome. It is a no win situation for most and I applaud those who attempt to interact, just as much as I do those who wouldn't touch social media with a barge pole.

To this day, my Dad will tell you that the old Hollywood stars knew how to behave themselves, while sports stars and celebrities never 'carried on' like they do today. My protestations to the contrary will never change his opinion, despite many documented and oft-retold incidents about their lives. The hedonistic lifestyles of Hollywood stars saw all sorts of shenanigans, carefully covered by the publicity machines and helped immensely because few people had cameras to instantly document their frequent indiscretions, no social media upon which to comment on them.

To be fair, the average sportsman from earlier times had little shenanigans money, which was part of the reason they got up to less. Only in the 1960s did some footballers start to get paid commensurate to their talent, while most cricketers waited for a good while longer than that. There was the odd exception, but only that. An early chat with Edwin Smith informed me that his wife earned more as a weaver in Chesterfield, than he did as a capped and respected county cricketer in the 1950s.

Today, however, every indiscretion is across social media like a virus. Everyone is an expert, with more coaching badges and experience from a computer game than any highly-qualified sports coach could ever obtain. Even if their own sporting prowess is limited to punting hopeful long balls in a Sunday League game, or managing a couple of streaky boundaries now and again in lower league, or social cricket, they know best.

I always show deference to those who have done it at the highest level. Of course I have an opinion, which is why I write this blog, but I wouldn't attempt to tell a county opening batsman how to play a tearaway fast bowler, or what they should do on a fourth day track that is turning sideways.

Yesterday's tragedy surrounding TV star Caroline Flack should be a warning to everyone, in both media and social media, just as Luke Sutton's outstandingly honest recent autobiography should be.

We only see the public persona of a celebrity or sports star. We don't know anything about the inner torments that they go through on a regular basis, nor have we a right to do so, until they feel the time is right. Over the years that I have written this blog, I have been made aware, because I have been trusted, of the challenges facing certain players. Things going on in their lives that would make life a challenge for anyone, whether illnesses to loved ones, health issues, money problems and more. Knowing these things helped me in my writing, though I like to think that I would have maintained the requisite understanding and discretion anyway.

This blog came out of the cesspit that was the old BBC 606 site, when I read many of the comments and felt them unnecessary, thoughtless and crude. My occasional contributions were well received and I started putting them down here. From the start and to this day I have vetted every comment, not because of my inner control freak, but because in putting my thoughts 'out there' I feel there comes a strong sense of responsibility to those I write about.

I hoped that one day players and their families might read what I wrote. I have been humbled to find over the years that they do, flattered that they trust me enough to tell me things, grateful for their kind words and ongoing friendships with both them and family members.

Yes, I will say that X is out of form, or Y played a bad shot. I might say that we delivered an inept display, but I won't tell a top player how to play their game. There is usually less than an inch on the bat between a ball that sails into the crowd and one that is caught on the boundary edge, much less between one taking the edge and missing it.

I once heard an opposition supporter, fuelled on beer, asking a bowler in his team why he hadn't tried to stifle our batsman, who had run amok, with slower balls and 'mixing it up'.

With an icy stare came the reply. 'Because the three slower balls that I bowled he hit out of the ground and he had an answer to everything I tried'. There you have it. Sometimes, your best just isn't good enough, no matter how hard you try.

The hypocrisy in the media and social media today is appalling. Tweets and articles hurriedly deleted, erasing any evidence of their contribution to yesterday's sad event. It wasn't the first, it won't be the last, but we must all remember the important part that we have to play. When your favourites do well they will enjoy your plaudits, but they need your support so much more when they endure the inevitable rocky patch.

As the old Nottinghamshire favourite George Gunn once said to a young team mate, in a rich vein of form, 'Drink at the well, son, there's always a desert approaching'. Sage words, indeed.

As we fast approach another cricket season, I look forward, as I always do, to your comments.

But whether on here or elsewhere, before you press the 'send' button, always read it back and ask yourself one question. If the subject was stood in front of you, would you say what you are about to say?

If the answer to that question is no, then an edit is in order.